Unbearable Lightness

This morning I was at work and the Ellen show was on. She interviewed Portia de Rossi who talked about her book that she is currently promoting. The name of her book is Unbearable Lightness: A story of loss and gain. In the book the actress talks about how she got all the way down to 82 pounds. She said that she didn't go into the eating disorder thinking that she wanted to be anorexic, but instead that it was something that kind of snuck up on her and was "disguised as a healthy diet, a professional attitude.

Portia told a story on Ellen today about how she started modeling when she was only 12 and the first time that she worried about her body was when she was 13. Portia was getting pictures taken as a potential client. She was asked to turn around and drop her pants so that they could look at her butt. Portia said she was very uncomfortable and turned around. When she did the woman asked her if she exercised because her butt was very saggy for a girl her age. Portia thought about this and thought that if she was going to do this as a career and be serious she needed to exercise and couldn't understand why she had forgotten to do so before. She then said that she would cut calories down to as few as 300 a day and want to reward herself with food, but once her schedule got busy and she was getting booked all the time the rewarding herself with food never came.

By the end of the interview Portia said, "When I look in the mirror today I really do accept myself from head to toe. This is exactly the weight I'm supposed to be. I realized it's taking me a long time; you can't fit a size 8 foot into a size 6 shoe. It's just not going to happen. So when I look in the mirror I realize this is what I'm supposed to be...I don't think that I'm perfect at all." If you want to read more, here is a link:
: http://justjared.buzznet.com/2010/11/04/ellen-degeneres-to-portia-de-rossi-youre-perfect/#ixzz14KfJxePT

To me, I'm watching this looking at a beautiful woman who was never what I would consider fat and baffled by the fact that anyone could do this to themselves. We see it in Hollywood all the time the pressure to be "perfect", but who defines perfection. Women all over the world develop eating disorders to look like the women on screen and the funny thing is that the women on screen have eating disorders. It's sad to think that we live in a society that infatuates itself on trying to reach an unattainable goal.

I think the most important thing to do is to accept that you are not Jennifer Aniston or whoever it is that you think has the most desirable body and say that you are just you. I would love to look like Jennifer, but I'm not her. We have different bodies and bone structure. I am always going to be a little bit curvy and my hips are always going to be a little big, but hey they were when I was a size 3. The most important thing here in going through changes like this is to be healthy. That should be the goal above all.

I went through an eating disorder and it is hard to not just want to revert back to that knowing that the results will come more quickly, but I also know that they won't last if not done the right way and that I will end up gaining more weight back and being in a much worse place than to begin with. I want you all to feel free to share. We all worry about what we look like, that's why we get our hair done and wear make-up or buy certain brands of clothes. There's no denying that we live in a world that pushes the need to be aesthetically appealing, but there should also be a need to be healthy.

I worked out last night and ate cottage cheese, salad (healthy style, without all the good stuff...lol) and pickles. The thing I've noticed even with changes up my eating habits in just a few days is how when I feel full I don't feel disgustingly full, I just know that it's time to stop eating. When eating fried foods and things I think it takes longer to feel full so when you do you are to the point of being stuffed. I can honestly say that I am still super tired, but I think that's because I haven't figured out a real schedule to follow. Once I added in working out and cooking instead of just picking something up from the drive-thru I need to revamp my schedule. I should have this much more figured out by next week. In the meantime I'll keep pushing on! If anyone else out there has something to say about anything that I've written feel free to chime in. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Talk to you all tomorrow!!!