Monday, January 17, 2011

My Life's Biggest Project: I'm Not a Player I Just Crush A lot

My Life's Biggest Project: I'm Not a Player I Just Crush A lot: "I've talked about this before, but I'll talk about it again. Happiness is the key to success. Sounds like a fortune cookie right? Well yeah,..."

I'm Not a Player I Just Crush A lot

I've talked about this before, but I'll talk about it again. Happiness is the key to success. Sounds like a fortune cookie right? Well yeah, but there is so much truth to what I'm saying. My friends and I are the flirtiest group of people I've ever met. It's all innocent and our dynamic is amazing. We make ourselves feel better about eachother. Isn't that what a friend is for? OK if you can't answer that with a yes you should check out and reevaluate who it is that you are hanging out with.

I have a friend who tells me how much she enjoys having male attention, and I get that! She says it is very important to her. As a single woman I suppose I understand that too, but maybe not quite as extreme as hers. I told her I think it is because I have so many male friends. Most of which have girlfriends and most of which are dating my female friends. (The single male friends I have in my life may be subject to a little more extreme flirting on my side But really and truly I seem to treat most of my friends the same way.) But these male friends in my life are encouraging and quite frankly most of the time they are good for the ego. Not just because they tell me I look nice, but because they make me feel good about who I am. I know that they like me as a person, both inside and out. To me this is much more complementary than some random guy I don't know saying something about me being hot (simply an example). I told my friend what she needs is a group of guy friends to do this for her. It will help build confidence in herself the next time she pursues a relationship. This may also maybe help her realize how great she is, because female friend approval simply isn't working out for her.

I love all of my friends and think they are all wonderful people and have extraordinary things about them that make them who they are. When you think this highly of someone it is easy to praise them about the things that make them great. Obviously there is a reason why I have chosen to have them be a part of my life and that is because they are amazing. To have people in your life like this is truly a blessing. Now there is a difference between friend flirting and flirting with intent. However, they both chemically do the same thing in the brain, except that flirting with intent (meaning flirting to pursue more than friendship) may release a different feeling. You know the one, the tingle in your tummy (butterflies) and the nervousness (the good kind). All of this is good so don't be scared of it!

Let me tell you a little story. It's a true one so be prepared to have an "aha" moment. Most of us have heard about the freshmen 15 right? With new found freedom and off the wall schedules, college freshmen tend to gain a lot of weight. Eating whatever they want whenever they want. Late night snacks often times take a toll on the tummy. The introduction of alclcohol being much more accessible than it was back in the days of high school also takes a real toll on one's weight gain. I however had an extreme opposite reaction to being a freshmen. I dropped 50 pounds. And my attribution to this weight loss was simple. It was happiness.

My senior year of high school was horrible. Not because of school, but because of some really shocking and painful family problems. By the time it was time for college I was ready to get out and get a fresh perspective and start on things. I know you can't run away from your problems, but getting out and away from everything when I did helped me to have a better look at the situation. It is much easier to be on the outside looking in. I had gained a lot of weight as a result of the family issues going on at home my senior year and feared that I would only gain more, but that's not what happened.

Instead I met a boy. One who I was passionately in love with. It's funny because looking back I think how could I have been so silly at 18 is it possible to really know what love is? Well even now I really do think that I loved him, not in a mature we should get married and spend the rest of our lives together in a grown up relationship, but more in a I want to spend ever second of every day with you and when I'm not with you I'm thinking of you. It was young love, but that didn't make it any less real.

Instead of dwelling on my anger and bitterness towards a certain person in my family I now had something positive (well it was at the time anyway) to put my energy toward. I became more active and without really changing up my eating the pounds just kind of seemed to fall off. I remember my friends step mom asked me what I was doing to lose the weight and I said nothing. She said that must be It sounds crazy, but it worked!

Want some scientific reasoning? The reason this worked was because of endorphins. According to "Endorphins are small neuropeptides that are produced by the body and act to reduce painhence, the name endorphin (a shortened version of endogenous morphine). The term "enkephalin" (meaning literally "in the head") is also applied to endorphins, but usually refers to smaller molecules that have pain-relieving properties."

The article also says the following about endorphins.

"Endorphins were discovered when scientists found sites where molecules such as morphine bind to nerve cells and reasoned that the body must use these sites to bind chemical compounds. Experiments showed that the compounds were small peptides, and the actions of endorphins were determined by a number of researchers."

How will this help you to lose weight? Well being in a better more positive state of mind helps you to do lots of things. There are two things that endorphins do. First they suppress one's appetite and second they decrease pain, which makes it easier to push through hard workouts. What's not to love about endorphins?

So wheter it be some fun flirting or hardcore romantic love, your body produces these wonderful little hormones! I'm not saying you need to go out and mack hardcore or even fall in love with someone to be happy and or thin. What I am saying is that you need to surround yourself with people that make you happy. Things didn't work out great with that guy back my freshmen year, but in that moment it was great and beneficial to me at that time in my life. One of those everything happens for a reason things I suppose. Now I have a solid group that I am happy to be around. Even though I've moved off and don't get to see them as much as I'd like we always tend to pick right up where we left off like time almost froze. Flirting doesn't have to be innapropriate nor does it have to be something that you try to avoid. Sometimes it just means that you are a likeable person that people like to be around. I see no harm in that at all.

So what do I suggest? Go out mingle, slap on that pretty little smile of yours on your face and people will be drawn to you. This will spark conversation and thus will result in more smiles and laughter (which is amazing for your health). Being flirty is fun and will result in you feeling good about yourself. So go out there and get your flirt on, you'll be happy that you did :)